I'm in the final stretches of finishing a blanket, and that always gives me an intense high! I will finish it tomorrow.
Right now, I work from Sunday to Thursday. So, my days off are Friday and Saturday. Fridays are my favorite day because I can crochet to my heart's content, read, watch films, and just luxuriate in not having to do anything except what I want to do. Saturdays tend to be reserved for meal prep, laundry, and so on.
Several times now, I've seen two deer in the front yard. The first time, they stopped and stared at me as I watched them from the porch. The moment felt magical. When they were bored of me, they ran away and melted into the woods. There is no trace of the experience except inside my memory.
There was a time when I would have rushed to grab my camera and take a photo. Now that I've left social media, I rarely do that. I think I've found a contentment I was always searching for. My life is enough—even with all the pain and the loss. It is enough. It is mine.
It is made up of crocheting in bed, watching classic fall cartoons, listening to Popol Vuh, reading poetry, trying new recipes, watching the wildlife in my yard. It may not be of interest to a lot of people, but it's the life I have managed to build.
One day, it will melt away like those deer dissolving into the forest. Maybe my words and my voice will leave some trace. That's all I can hope for.
"Enough" by Harmony Index
Maybe I have had enough
Of asking for your love
But what if I can’t turn it off
Does it get easier?