I'm exploring tunisian crochet. I ordered some special tunisian crochet hooks, and they arrived today. I spent the evening making samples of the simple stitch (top two photos) and the knit stitch (bottom photo). I think they look pretty good for my first time ever doing tunisian crochet!
I'm still hesitant to learn knitting. I think I want to improve my crochet skills and get as good as I possibly can before I move on to something as potentially complex and difficult as knitting.
The appeal of tunisian crochet is that it can give the appearance of knitting. I definitely want to make a scarf using this technique. I'm excited about the possibilities.
I have been going a bit crazy lately when it comes to ordering yarn. I want to make a holiday blanket, and I also want to crochet my own Christmas stocking. I might attempt my first hexagon cardigan as well.
It might sound ridiculous to say that crochet is saving my life, but it feels like the truth. It's the only thing that quiets my mind.
Tori Amos covering Madonna's "Frozen"
Something pulled me back to "Frozen" today. I love Tori's ethereal cover of it. I think she makes you feel the heartbreak of the song.
You only see what your eyes want to see
How can life be what you want it to be?
You're frozen when your heart's not open
You're so consumed with how much you get
You waste your time with hate and regret
You're broken when your heart's not open
Maybe I feel like the frozen one. My heart is not open anymore. Maybe it was too open for too long. I've had to become more guarded, detached, and protective.
The heart is a precious organ. It should not be open to everyone.
My own heart has been battered for years now—watching my mother suffer while I was her caregiver, the anguish of losing her, being almost completely abandoned after her death, surviving a terrible experience of unrequited love.
No, I can't live with an open heart for now. I can't be that way anymore. I've changed in ways I never thought I would, but the world is a brutal place for the tender and sensitive souls.
This world is made for the frozen ones. They survive it much better.
My heart is still soft and warm. It's just behind a barricade. I think it will be for a very long time.