Grief Fragments is a raw, ongoing diary about being by my mother’s side as she faces terminal cancer. It is an attempt to process—and survive—grief in real-time, to stay connected to life in the midst of death, to write the unspeakable, to bear the unbearable, and to record the final months, weeks, and days I have left with my mother. I am writing for my life.
May 19, 2025
I am facing this with her. I will not leave her side. I will not turn away. I do this because of love. I will never love any human being as much as I love her.
The fading light of dusk. The sounds of children playing in the distance. So much life. So much beauty.
I try to savor this world, the one that is slipping away—the one she is alive in.
At night, I cry so hard I shake.
We shake with joy, we shake with grief.
What a time they have, these two
housed as they are within the same body.
—Mary Oliver, "We Shake With Joy"
All my memories are connected to her.
I told a friend today how funny she is. No one makes me laugh like her. She's always had a better sense of humor than me.
